Old Spinster Advice

Every new college student gasps in horror at the idea of the freshman 15. Yes, it's true, you will gain some weight. Some of you will gain A LOT of weight. But, the weight can easily be shed. Hint: put down the vodka tonic, and go to the gym.

What cannot be shed is a bad reputation.

College is the land of experimentation, but it's not exactly the land of secrets. Most of the people on campus still have the mentality of a high school gossip junkie. So, remember that party where you made out with that guy whose name you can't remember? Well, he told his friends. Harmless at first because he's simply one face out of thousands. But, soon you will realize that even on a campus of 20,000, the world is VERY small. Every drunken mistake and every walk of shame was seen and mentally recorded by someone else...and then gossiped to someone else. I can't begin to describe how many girls I "know" about without having ever met them.

You don't want to be THAT girl. If JuicyCampus (RIP) showed us anything, it's that people feed off gossip. Evidently, one is never too for rumors.

Next time you go to a party and you see me in the corner shaking my head at you, it's not that I'm jealous. It's because I've been there. Not to mention, the boy that you're giving your number to had Chlamydia two years ago.

Commitment Phobics

Ever get the feeling that when a guy is trying to blow you off, he uses the ever-so-genius excuse that he has a fear of commitment? Maybe not in so many words. He may imply that he has trust issues (with a puppy dog look on his face), or he'll bring up an ex-girlfriend that completely obliterated his faith in women. Whatever the measures, he'll get you to feel sorry for him. Then you start having delusional fantasies of being the ONE girl who will heal his heart. In reality, you're just the 3 a.m. booty call. Genius.

I've always categorized these men into the asshole category and called it a day. But recently, I met someone who made me think twice. Commitment phobics: are they real?

This woman (let's call her Babs--simply because I like that name) has the biggest commitment issues of anyone I've met. The word whore might creep into your thoughts. But, rest assured, she is no ho-fo-sho. Babs is seeing someone; she has been for months. She truly cares for him. But, when the subject of relationship springs up, she has heart palpitations.

He tries to hold her hands in public, she pushes him away.
He says "I love you," she says "thank you."
He tells her he misses her, she says she needs a break.

Babs must belong to a different species because women are biologically programed to want babies and the white picket fence. But, she's not the only one of her "species." There are numerous articles, and even self-help books, on understanding commitment phobia.

Maybe commitment phobia isn't always an excuse used to get ass without putting a ring on it.