Ever get the feeling that when a guy is trying to blow you off, he uses the ever-so-genius excuse that he has a fear of commitment? Maybe not in so many words. He may imply that he has trust issues (with a puppy dog look on his face), or he'll bring up an ex-girlfriend that completely obliterated his faith in women. Whatever the measures, he'll get you to feel sorry for him. Then you start having delusional fantasies of being the ONE girl who will heal his heart. In reality, you're just the 3 a.m. booty call. Genius.
I've always categorized these men into the asshole category and called it a day. But recently, I met someone who made me think twice. Commitment phobics: are they real?
This woman (let's call her Babs--simply because I like that name) has the biggest commitment issues of anyone I've met. The word whore might creep into your thoughts. But, rest assured, she is no ho-fo-sho. Babs is seeing someone; she has been for months. She truly cares for him. But, when the subject of relationship springs up, she has heart palpitations.
He tries to hold her hands in public, she pushes him away.
He says "I love you," she says "thank you."
He tells her he misses her, she says she needs a break.
Babs must belong to a different species because women are biologically programed to want babies and the white picket fence. But, she's not the only one of her "species." There are numerous articles, and even self-help books, on understanding commitment phobia.
Maybe commitment phobia isn't always an excuse used to get ass without putting a ring on it.
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